By Guest Blogger, Mary Swanson
“Maybe it’s the time of year
or maybe it’s the time of man
I don’t know who I am
but you know life is for learning”
- Joni Mitchell
“Change is for the purpose of reminding us who we really are.”
- Angles Arrien, The Tarot Handbook, Jeremy P. Tarcher 1997
It’s fall in Vermont. Yards and farms are preparing for Winter’s arrival. Winter, combined with the darkening of the light, brings with it a desire to tuck in and protect oneself. The gesture of Fall seems to be surrender… let go (A gazillion leaves have just spiraled away from their moorings) & find something to nuzzle (gigabillions of seeds have tucked themselves into hospitable shelters). Nature, once again, is teaching us how to deal with what we fear: Let go. Lay down. Rest.
It’s harder then it looks.
Who’s not in their own personal ‘darkening of the light’ right now? For me, this past year has been s “Chariot” year. In the language of Tarot, that’s about being pulled in two different directions at once. The point being not to choose between them… but to get them to work together, like the two horses that pull a Chariot.
The two ‘horses’ pulling me in different directions are very big life choices. It seems like an either/or situation but neither choice seemed entirely right… or wrong. I felt stuck and didn’t know how to change.
I feel rebellious & angry like I don’t want anyone’s help; at the same time I feel sort of reverent because I’m up against something that feels really, really, Real. How can I let go & relax when I’m being pulled in two different directions?
In the language of Astrology the big conversation right now is about Uranus & Pluto squaring each other as Saturn steps back. Read More
Translation: The tensions of holding onto structures that just weren’t working (Saturn) while the ugly truths of what we really, really feel but refuse to admit (Pluto) are erupting, have been going on for the past two years. Now Uranus (sudden, innovative change) steps into the mix and suddenly there can be another choice… but how do we invite the energies of Uranus into consciousness? Give up? Walk away? Desert one of the ‘horses’ and go with the other? I don’t like any of those choices.
The only way I know how to invite an energy into my life is to step into Sacred Space.* Sacred Space is not a place, it’s a state of being. Stepping into Sacred Space is taking myself out of my ordinary, routine, expected, rational, mind and bringing myself into the present tense. Getting into NOW has a wonderful by-product: it breaks the barriers time & space have around my conscious awareness and allows the possibility of new information.
In order to step into Sacred Space, I step into what humans have always done, since time began…Ritual.
The first thing I do is go outside. Out into the trees & let myself notice exactly where I am, what I hear, smell, taste, see. Then I breathe & feel into my body–where’s the tension? Breathe. What am I thinking about? Breathe.
I call the Four Directions.
As I’m facing each directions, I surrender what I thought should happen. I give up my idea of what I’d hoped would happen. I acknowledge my investment in having what I’d hoped for. I ask for help. I moan and grumble and bitch. I lay down all my thinking and controlling and plans. I empty myself and end up on my back, laying on the Earth, watching the Sky.
And something happens. Something Magical. Inspiration. The fledgling ideas about how to get my two horses to work together start glimmering at the edge of consciousness. No sure path, no absolute map. But a beginning that is based on knowing what I really want & seeing that those two seemingly opposite paths can actually support what I deeply want.
It turns out that creating Sacred Space for myself brings me into the deepest most sacred space of all: self respect.
It’s easy to respect yourself when you discover that all of life is supporting what you deeply desire.
Please feel free to leave a comment if you feel inspired.
* The word “sacred” descends from the Latin sacrum, which referred to the gods or anything in their power, and to sacer, priest; sanctum, set apart. It was generally conceived spatially, as referring to the area around a temple.
Mary Swanson is a full-time Medical Intuitive. She received her certification from the Academy of Intuition Medicine in Sausalito, CA in 1994. She teaches her students “how to be happy” by using meditation, conscious awareness, writing, painting and Ritual in her many workshops and classes. Mary is also a writer and visual artist. She lives in Middlebury, VT. You can find her at maryswanson.netand arthousevt.com.
Grace Under Pressure Workshop with Mary – January 15-17, 2011 in Geyserville, CA - Save the Date. Email Mary if interested.
Image: The Chariot Card from the Rider-Waite Tarot
Well put, Mary. Thanks for sharing. I’m going to go do it – right now.