By guest blogger Mary Swanson
I’m thinking about change. I’m thinking about how I’ve been so stuck for a whole year now and I’m just beginning to feel some glimmers of change. After many healings, divinations & soul-searches, The Question: “What am I not allowing myself to admit I want & need?” has been wrestling around inside me for months. It seems I’m starting to let myself hear the answer.
It’s not like it’s crystal clear though. It’s still pretty impossible for me to believe that what I want & need is really possible. My Monkey Mind throws all kinds of feces at me: Shit like “It’ll never happen,” “You’re too old,” ” You’re stupid to want,” “Don’t change anything it’s too scary,” etc., etc., etc.; come flying at me at a semi-conscious frequency faster than the speed of light. But when I can observe this fun little not-quite-conscioius activity, I can more easily see how I gum myself up.
It gets easier to stop blaming other people for making me unhappy. It gets easier to observe the Monkey Mind and laugh at the endless buckets of shit that take up so much of my “thinking” time. It gets easier to entertain the possibility that it just might be possible to have what seems so impossible.
The Truly Miraculous Thing though… the genius of observing your own mind/feeling is this: once we start to have little moments of awareness… things start to fall into place. Just a little at first, but something new starts to happen.
We spend our lives insisting that it can’t happen or we don’t even know what would make us happy. We spend a whole lot of thought and a whole bunch of feelings blaming others or feeling stuck and we are really, really good at ignoring the little beginnings of change.
When something is just beginning, it’s hard to recognize. The acorn doesn’t look much like an oak tree. And the monkey mind is always there to say, “You don’t have TIME to let that acorn grow, you need an Oak Tree RIGHT NOW!”. Beginnings are easy to overlook.
So how do we know what to look for when we’re trying to step into what we’re quite sure is impossible?
Here’s my questionnaire for recognizing the beginnings of change:
1. Where and with Whom do I “come to life”?
2. Which parts of my life are easy?
3. What gives me a sense of relaxation & expansiveness?
4. Who is trying to contact me?
If you give your attention, your time, your care to the people, places and actions that are the answers to these questions… your life will become a whole lot easier and more enjoyable. And if you keep doing it, doors open, seeds sprout, assistance arrives, pathways appear and you’ll be astonished at the gifts life is trying to give you. I know because every time I do it, it works!
HAPPY SOLSTICE EVERYBODY!
Mary Swanson is a full-time Medical Intuitive. She received her certification from the Academy of Intuition Medicine in Sausalito, CA in 1994. She teaches her students “how to be happy” by using meditation, conscious awareness, writing, painting and Ritual in her many workshops and classes. Mary is also a writer and visual artist. She lives in Middlebury, VT. You can find her at maryswanson.netand arthousevt.com.
WORKSHOP with MARY SWANSON
Grace Under Pressure Workshop January 15-17, 2011 at the Isis Oasis in Geyserville, CA. These past two years have included some of the most intense pressure any of us have experienced. No matter how that pressure is manifesting, it always helps to sit back and get a new perspective. In this workshop we’ll be looking at our lives from the perspective of the Soul’s Journey. To learn more, email Mary.
